My Partner Has a 5 year old daughter and his ex partner is the only one who chooses when we get to see her and is only based on her schedule, sometimes she says no but when she is busy we have to be there even if we have to cancel work, she allows the kid to sleep over her moms house and lives with her boyfriend, but does not allow us to have the child by saying she is still not ready,please note that we are the ones paying for sports and activities the child does, and clothes or shoes when the mother asks. She is receiving 400$ from government (which is not separated with the father) and is asking for child support cash of check to her name! we told her that we pay for things and she can tells us if more is needed but we refuse to give it to her because it doesn't go on what we consider important (sports, family activities) and most of all when she doesn't even allow the kid to sleep over. Is our decision to NOT pay child support until we get 50% custody or else court a good decision;
Thank you in advance for your help!
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It is never a good idea to barter child support in exchange for access to the child. Access rights and custody are granted following an evaluation of what is best for the child regardless of the support being paid for the care of the child.
In your situation I would seek to obtain as much access as may be in the child's interest without threatening to cut off child support if the mother refuses to cooperate. What you do not want is to place yourself in a situation where the mother refuses to allow more access and where you harm the child by taking away much needed support.