1 (877) 797-9411

Husband’s pushing for 50% eventhough work won’t allow it.

Posted in Divorce, Location, Ontario, St. Catharines by Questions on April 1, 2014

My husband and I are considering divorce as we cannot seem to get along. We have been married for almost 10 years and it is a daily struggle of unhappiness. We have spoke many times about divorce but are worried about the negative effects it will have on our three children. I can’t foresee our marriage improving as we are 2 very different people that cannot see eye to eye on anything.

My worries (and a major factor in why I haven’t made the final decision to divorce) are that he has told me that he will insist on 50% living arrangements even though he has never spent this much time with our kids in the past. Sharing 50% would greatly increase the time he spends with our kids daily. I have never spent more than 2 days from our kids and he is usually only with them for 2-3 hours a day and his day off on Sundays. My children are totally attached to me (I wake up with them, get them ready for school, lie down with them at bedtime, bring them to sports, etc.) and would have severe emotional breakdowns if we adopted a 50% living arrangement if we were to divorce.

I am currently remaining in this failing marriage because I am terrified to make a decision that will forever scar my children. I am not sure what is recommended for families in my situation.

Please help!

1 Expert Comment

  1. On April 2, 2014 at 9:51 am
    A Family Lawyer said:

    Without commenting on what I think the specific arrangements may end up being, some of the important points to keep in mind are that children’s needs change as they age and develop. So, the children’s bond with you may be sufficient to permit the 50% time in his care. What is important is his ability to care for the children and parent them. It is not so much about what time he has spent in the past, but he may offer for the children’s upbringing into the future. If the reference to only being with them 2 to 3 hours a day is all he can arrange to spend with the children, then it will obviously be difficult for him to have them 50% of the time throughout the year. For all I know however he has limited his time around the house to minimize conflict as you have described between each of you. The converse to saying that the children should spend less than 50% time with their father or more limited time, is that the children are then expected to go more prolonged periods of time between visits with him, and that is not healthy either. Typically, if the children are less than 8 years of age or so then the primary residence regime as you describe makes sense in certain situations as then the children may develop a primary attachment to one parent. It doesn’t sound as though he is around the house much, but enough for consistent conflict between each of you. However, as the children age they are definitely more capable of spending more time in the other parent’s care and less time in the primary parent’s care. This is intended as general information only and is not intended to be legal advice on your specific situation.

Leave a Reply

Copyright © 2020 divorce-canada.ca, All Rights Reserved